| The Producers: A Review |
[Jun. 8th, 2007|08:20 pm] |
As a rule, I do not care for Broadway touring companies. They consistently underestimate middle America, don't put forth much effort after show #12, and are full of actors who don't have the talent to play Dead Man #2 on CSI. However, I enjoyed the recent performance of The Producers at the Opera House, largely because the sponsor gave me free tickets, and the actor who played Jury Foreman gave such a show-stopping performance.
Everyone else in the play sucked. They were just doing bad imitations of the cast of the more recent The Producers film. Jury Foreman, though he had only one line, received a standing ovation in the middle of the show. Admittedly, the kind of plebes who go to these shows will stand to cheer for just about anything, but I liked him.
Just look at these lines!
Jury Foreman: Your honor, we find this man incredibly guilty.
Judge: Thank you. I'll consider that matter of legalization that we discussed.
Now, this makes no sense unless you know that Jury Foreman was portrayed by none other than perennial candidate, pot-smoking hippie, and political enemy of ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/community.gif?v=92.2) rachel4tehg0v, Gatewood Galbraith.
Give up politics, Gatewood. The gummint doesn't love you the way that your fans do. I'm not saying that you couldn't use your new fame as an actor to promote your pot-smoking hippie agenda--heck, it seems that every actor does that nowadays--but you could get a bigger audience this way. You would make an excellent Dead Man #2 on CSI. In a few years, you could even be Dead Man #1!
Leave Kentucky for Hollywood. They need you there, and it's not like anyone except my mom votes for you here. Since I'm running for lieutenant g0vern0rrz, I kinda doubt that she'll vote for you now.
Acting is your future, Gatewood. Embrace it. |
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| Post-Primary Plans |
[May. 23rd, 2007|12:47 am] |
Well, rachel4tehg0vsketeers, we now know what we’re up against. El Fletcherino, who was spat out of Hell itself for offending Satan, who birthed him (and who he still loooooooooooooves and misses--Satan’s Boy!), and Steve Beshear, who is a frat boy with a questionable healthcare plan.
To arms, rachel4tehg0vsketeers! We shall defeat the evil beasties yet!
To Do
- Gain more media attention so we can get some groupies already
- Schedule debate
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Destroy El Fletcherino’s reputation completed by rachel4tehg0vsketeer Ernie “El Fletcherino” Fletcher
- Actually read the spam Steve Beshear sends us in order to better dismantle his candidacy
- Unveil immigration plan
- Gain ringing endorsements of our economic policy from people other than our moms
- Acquire tour bus to canvass state and gain widespread support--also, wacky adventures
- Invite Beshear and El Fletcherino to our Charity Wiffleball Game
- Mock Beshear and El Fletcherino for showing up to a Charity Wiffleball Game in outfits that were not approved by the Ultimate Wiffleball League
- Come up with good insulting nickname for Beshear, possibly one highlighting his icky comb-over
- Post statements of support from local zombie experts
- Create Rachel 4 teh g0v campaign logo
- T-shirts!!!!!
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| Primarily, They Suckzz0rzzz!! |
[May. 17th, 2007|05:23 am] |
With only 5 days until the primary, we're feeling pretty confident here at Rachel 4 teh g0vern0rrz headquarterrz. After all, being independent, we aren't actually in the primary.
Everyone currently running in the primary sucks. After all, they want you to leave your house on a Tuesday and vote instead of watching daytime television like you want to. We have previously come out in favor of you being able to watch daytime television every day. No one else has.
Don't vote on May 22nd. Stay home and watch Passions with us. |
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| Rachel's Plan For Derby Day |
[May. 3rd, 2007|01:33 am] |
Too often, Kentucky's signature holiday has been overshadowed by another event. This year, when all good people should be getting drunk on mint juleps and placing bets that will generate tax revenue for Kentucky, many will be drinking beer and listening to mariachi music.
For the sake of the children, this must stop.
Yeah, whatever, the Cinco de Mayo celebrates Mexico's defeat of France. Haven't we established by now that a kitten with a butter knife could defeat France militarily? The first Saturday in May has been established as the date of the Kentucky Derby for 7,352 years, according to Wikipedia. Cinco de Mayo has only been the fifth of May as long as there's been a Spanish language.
Thus, we propose moving Cinco de Mayo to the second Saturday in May, so it will never conflict with Derby Day. Quoth the Rachel, "Who cares if it means Fifth of May? We can totally celebrate it later. After all, the US never had to win independence from France or whatever."
All eyes should be on Kentucky on the first Saturday in May, not on some pinata, even if it is horse-shaped. Vote Rachel for the g0vern0rrz, and we won't have this problem again until at least 2012. |
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